University of Southern California

Brandice

About the Author:

Brandice Wilson pretends to be a free-spirited rocker chick, completely immersed within the Hollywood lifestyle. Between obligatory Starbucks rendezvous and Nine Inch Nails and Raconteurs concerts, she reads extensively, writes not too prolifically, and patronizes art venues of all shapes, sizes, and forms. A fervent libertarian who is female but not that female, Brandice is ambitious, highly idiosyncratic, opinionated, and sarcastic, and she keeps at least one phalange in every cookie jar. However, in the realistic world, she spends most of her time eyeball-deep in pre-medical studies, well within her third year at USC.

Top Ten: Baby Names (All Real, I Swear)

by Brandice
Posted: November 11th, 2009

10. Alcamy; Origin: American; Meaning: Alternate spelling of Alchemy; Guaranteed: Your kid will fail chemistry.

9. Cloud, Cricket, Denim… Please refrain from naming your child after the first random object that pops into your little brain.

8. Butch

7. Aim; Origin: American; Meaning: Direct toward target… or “My parents are social networking whores.”

6. Dude; Origin: American; Meaning: Man, Cowboy; Alternate spelling: Bro

5. Independence—Contrary to what you might believe, your child is not a boat.

4.Hummer and Humvee

3. Espn; Origin: American; Meaning: Television Sports Network; Guaranteed: Your kid will hate sports… and you.

2. Do not name your daughter Mary if your last name is Hary. Actually, have a heart and just don’t have kids; they are screwed.

1. Abcde; Origin: American; Meaning: First 5 letters of the alphabet; Don’t believe me? http://babynames.com/name/ABCDE

And that’s just the first half of the alphabet.

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Responses

  1. Jason said,
    November 11th, 2009 at 6:12 pm

    #5 made me fall out of my chair.

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